Dear Mangled Heart ♥

Dear Mangled Heart,

          Two bottles + upbeat music every night?? Tsk! Tsk! Tignan mo, halos mamulubi na mga kaibigan mo kaka-gimik nyo! Sa first week ng break-up maiiintindihan nila yan, pero kung isang bwan na.. sus! Ang weak mo! MOMOL-MOMOL din kasi.. as in MOVE-ON- MOVE-ON lang. Hihihi!

          Indeed, the hardest times of our lives are those when we're alone, mas nagfa-function ang utak na'ten eh. And we always reminisce BAD MEMORIES! We may think of the good ones but we always end up with the bad ones. May payakap-yakap ka pa sa sarili mo! Ang BADUY!

          It is never wrong to love someone so much. Wala pa namang naipapasang batas tungkol dyan. Pero kaylangan mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo more than anybody else. Be selfless! Magpa-kontrabida type ka minsan.

          Sabi nga ni Jovit, "too much love will kill you". Ang dami nang namatay at nabaliw dahil sa pag-ibig. Kasi nakulong tayo sa prinsipyong ipaglaban ang ating nararamdaman... which is wrong! Di mo kailangan gawin yun lalo na kung yung mismong taong ipinaglaban mo eh sumuko na. Kaya kung iniisip mong sugurin ang karibal mo sa mall at barilin, please lang, WAG NA! Ang haba na kaya ng pila sa pagche-check ng bag! Hehehe!

         Enough... Yeah! 'Yan ang salita para sa'yo kapatid! Pag sinabing goodbye, turn around, step back, gawin mo lahat para lumayo. (Gayahin mo strategy sa Angry Birds, mas malakas na pwersa, mas malayo ang mararating diba? :)) Learn to R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Love is a gamble, a game of chances. Maswere ka kung sa unang subok mo pa lang eh wagi ka na pero most of the time mabibigo ka, masasaktan at mamamaga ang mata kakaiyak. Lahat 'yan mararanasan mo until you reach that famous happy ending. :)

          'Wag mong isiping nag-iisa ka, tignan mo, may nakikibasa sa likod mo. Hehehe! At wag na wag mong hilingin na magkatotoo ang end-of-the-world chuvaness sa Dec 21, walang damayan dre!

          But seriously, I believe that God created someone especially for you :).. kaya kalma ka lang dude! Tandaan mo, ang paghahanap ng true love ay di kasing dali ng pagse-search sa Google. It will come! In God's perfect timing :) Pero ngayon... sige, iyak ka muna! Chos!

Very Truly Yours,

Brand New Heart

... at dahil excited na ko sa Birthday ko :)

...I'm soooo excited and I just can't hide it :D

a worth it nosebleed♥♥♥

One morning, on my way going to office, I bumped into a group of good-looking, foreigner guys wearing tuxedo smiling sweetly at me. As I came closer, the cutest guy asked me, “Hi, we’re going to the Peninsula, how do we get there?” (I didn’t know I could memorize what he said, word for word!) Moments of silence fills Ayala Ave.! (haha! Sorry for the exaggerated words.) I found myself staring at his beautiful chinito eyes and captivating smile. Oh I can’t resist his smile!

My neck couldn’t reach to where his face was then he leaned forward so we’re face to face. Everything stopped for a moment, and the only thing that’s in motion is my heart that keeps on beating faster.

Suddenly, the sound of annoying horn from the bus killed the moment. (Argg! Hate that bus!) Then a whisper from the wind told me, “Ruby, he was just asking for directions, it’s not as if he’s asking for your number, duh?!

Later I woke up from daydreaming and gave him directions I’m quite not sure if right. Good thing I had a lot of English words in my pocket that has been kept for situations like this. Hahaha! I managed to pull it off even if he’s charismatic aura intimidates me.

We walked together all the way to the underpass going right across Peninsula. My thoughts were filled with scenes in a romantic movie… that we’re walking hand in hand when he’s actually few inches from me. Hehehe! Too much watching of romantic movies feeds my frustrations I guess. Hehehe!

Going back to reality, he waived at me with countless "thank you" enclosed with a smile.

Amansinaya, Ang Saya!:)

     Want adventure? Amansinaya Beach Resort at Laurel, Batangas can give it you.. at a very reasonable price(galingan lang ang pambobola and you'll definitely get the deal! hehehe!). Lots of activities you wouldn't wanna miss. So stretch your muscles and be ready to shout AMANSINAYA, ANG SAYA!!!

     First stop, trekking! Isn't it wonderful, as the sun shines, we we're on our way to Ambon-ambon Falls... such a lovely place! Kahit tagatak ang pawis namin at nanakit ang mga paa namin patawid sa limang mabatong ilog, when we got there it was all worth it. Parang ayaw na nga namin bumalik e, kasi pagod na kami at gusto ko na lang magpasundo sa chopper that time. Hehehe! It was very tiring but my eyes were delighted with this beautiful sight. Nagtwinkle-twinkle ba. Hehehe!

     I have to admit, I've seen better but duh? it's nature! nothings better than the other, they're all the best! :)

     Ituloy-tuloy na na'ten ang muscle pain guys, it's time for the unforgettable obstacles at Pugad Lawin Adventure Camp :) Talaga namang titibay ang samahan ng team nyo dahil sa dami ng sakit ng katawan at tawa dito. Hahaha!

This one's memorable... the Tarzan Swing! How can I forget? I was awarded MVP, as in Most Valuable Plakda. Hehehe! Actually, I almost hated Tarzan... why in hell does he have to swing on ropes going one place to another, ayan tuloy, naimbento pa ang obstacle na to. Hehehe!

Bruises at kahihiyan ay sulit na sulit... my team won! Yahoooo! Bravo team... teka ano nga pangalan ng team namin???... di na namin naisip yun ah, basta nanalo kami:) Good job guys!

Here's an extra adventure, zip line, wall climbing and mud slide.

Food was great, I couldn't forget kare-kare. Yum-yum :D

    And last but definitely not the least... in fact the most anticipated place.. tentenen! THE POOL!!!

Piece of advice girls, make sure your period don't get in the way, sayang ang swim wear eh. Hehehe!

    I had so much fun, it's my very first team building and surely it won't be the last. I enjoyed every hour, every minute, every second at ang kasuluk-sulukan ng Amansinaya! Indeed, it was amazing! See, puro exclamation point na ending ng sentences ko?! Ganyan ako kasaya! Hahaha!

    Thank you my Risk Management Family! You made my trip worth remembering! Kahit may period ako at pagagalitan na ko ng derma pagbalik ko ng Manila, I enjoyed it.

    Can't wait for the next adventure! So, san tayo sa May? :) :) :) 

(photos courtesy of Dhaiz Esguerra, Shirley Parungao and Aaron Dapito.. thank you guys:))

let's dim the lights for the ex-lovers...

This commercial is simply amazing! If you found yourself still in love with your "ex", tatamaan ka dito! After a long time, biglang nag-krus ang landas nyo sa elevator at walang ibang sumakay. Bongga! President lang ng kompanya 'te, kuya??? Hehehe!

According to a friend of mine, hangga't nakikita mo ang taong minsang minahal mo ng sobra, babalik at babalik pa rin ang dating nararamdaman mo sa kanya... kahit itanggi mong wala na! ...pak na pak! pasok sa banga!

But today, I'd like to emphasize the story of those people behind the scene. I mean, yung mga taong naghintay sa kanila to separate ways. And no, they don't intend it in a kontrabida way. They patiently waited... quietly :) So let's dim the lights for the ex-lovers for a while.

Let's put ourselves in their shoes, shall we? Let's say, you have a friend and secretly in love with him. Just when you thought that he and his girlfriend will soon exchange vows, they broke up. At nung nalaman mo yun, parang birthday mo, nagpa-party ka pa. Sobrang saya mo te, pero sure ka ba na parang tae sya at inidoro ka, para sayo na sya babagsak? Hehehe! Hmmm...

Ok, serious na... you were with him as he's trying to move on, while you were hoping that one day, he'll see your worth. You want to put an end to this "katangahan" thing but he told you you we're making him happy and you're helping him to forget his ex as well. He promised to love you after he's over with his past relationship. So there you are, you stay by his side, listening to his angst and anger towards his ex kahit ang sakit-sakit na. Gusto mo na syang batukan and say, "hoy! gising!", but all you did was a tap at the back while he was crying on your shoulder. Wenk! Wenk! Pero teka, have you realized, maybe you we're trying too hard??? Baka kasi ang ending nyan e, ikaw ang nagtanim pero iba ang aani. tsk! tsk!

You were in this battle na wala kang kalaban-laban... para mong hinamon si Pacquiao ng suntukan. Mas matimbang pa din ang mga ex, mahirap sila kalimutan. Tandaan mo, si teacher pag nagche-check ng papers, nire-recheck nya yan, baka kasi tama pala dapat si EX. Hahaha!

Haaayys.. this thing called love is getting me crazy! Really!!! Pero ang sarap siguro pakinggan 'pag sinabi nyang, "andyan ka pala, di ka nagsasalita... e mahal na kita e.." hahaha! Para ka na sigurong nagpa-retoke dahil di matanggal ang ngiti mo. Hehehe!

But what happens kapag nangyare nga ang eksena sa commercial na yan? Itataas mo na ba ang white flag at surrender na? O sisigaw ka ng " itigil ang kasal!" kahit wedding plans pa lang ang usapan??? Hahaha!

Well, if it was me, I'll let go. Wherever his happy, I'm happy too... walang halong kaplastikan. Eh sa iba sya masaya e.. ay di pala iba yun, yun nga pala ang babaeng pinakamamahal nya, ako pala yung iba. Hahaha! I don't want him to suffer all his life to be with someone na kahit katiting wala syang nararamdaman. But first, I'll wait for him to say, "Ruby, I'm sorry, she's no longer my "ex", she's my present and hopefully my future". Sakit sa bangs nun dude!... Acceptance is the key! At ilang araw mula ngayon, magiging history na lang sya sa buhay mo, isang kwento na lang na itatawa mo hanggang mautot ka. Hahaha!

Call me tanga or anything, I'll accept that. Pero di ako nag-iisa, I'm pretty sure that each and everyone of us has a bunch of katangahan stories. Aminin!!!

Buntong-hininga na lang ang magagawa ko. But I won't ever regret it. At least I can tell myself, once in his life I made him happy. :) :) :)

This time, let's turn the lights on :)

let it go...

“Life is like a box of chocolates, you’ll never know what you will get until you open it.” – Forest Gump

This is a very famous, inspiring line that up to now touches my life in every way. Whenever I am in doubt, I always thought of it. It works for me and who knows, it might work for you too. It taught me of how to face every challenge in life courageously with head held high.

At this very moment, I am facing the biggest trial of my life… to take an opportunity that I couldn’t resist.  At first I was having doubts with my decision but now I am determined. Whatever the reason why I want to leave is better left unsaid. I want to start a new life... start from scratch… I’ll LET IT GO certainly!

I am happy where I am, honestly! There may be times when I had my darkest and saddest part of my life and never would I regret it. For I have also regret meeting these wonderful people. But then I have to LET IT GO!

I have been grateful of all the things that I have learned and of all the people who have been so kind while I was working for the very first company who trusted me. This is the hardest part indeed, when we need to bid our goodbyes. But these goodbyes will surely lead into something so much better. I know that there will always be a space reserved in my heart for all of you, and hopefully I also have mine in yoursJ.  And still, I’ll LET IT GO.

I’ll cherish all the good memories and try to forget the bad ones. I wanted to leave with a smile seen not only on the outside but better yet in the inside. Mahirap kalimutan ang mga kalokohan, ang mga tawanan, there was never a dull moment. Surely I will miss it!  Sabi nga ni mareng Katy Perry, “comparisons are easily done once you’ve had a taste of perfection”. Para sa’ken, it’s the most perfect time of my life but I have to LET IT GO! Opportunity keeps knockin’ on my door and I can’t help but let them in. They might slip away in just a snap so before it burst like a bubble I might as well grab it. Oportunista pala! Hahaha!

Nothing left to say but THANK YOU! This may appear to be a little BADUY but I just want to extend the happiness and gratefulness I felt towards you guys. I guess that your part in my story is over and I have also played mine in yours, remarkably… with a big round of applause! Kahit ang tingin nyo sa’ken e puro problema ang dala ko, I enjoyed every single day of my life though. I’m sure mami-miss nyo ang iyaking bata na ‘to! Hehehe!

THANK YOU for everything…

To my mentor, mam gelmie, thank you for all the things you have taught me, kahit yung mga walang kinalaman sa trabaho. Hehehe! Sorry kung di ko na nasunod ang tinuro mo sa’king “two must go”. Hahaha!

To my ABAD SANTOS family, thank you for the warmest welcome I have received.

To my GILMORE WAREHOUSE family, thank you for trusting me as your “iyaking admin assistant”. Pasensya na at nagulo ng batang ‘to ang branch. Hehehe!

To my dearest friends… sir rey, salamat sa mga kwento mo every lunch time, yung ang pinaka-nami-miss ko sayo, you were the very first person to accommodate me. Hehehe!... at sa aking pare... a big ☺ for you!!! your still my "pare"! Hehehe! Basta you can always tell me everything, no secrets this time ok? Pag may problema ka, inom lang natin yan. Hehehe!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

O diba parang speech na naman? Feeling valedictorian! Hahaha!

So I’m wishing myself the best of luck!

NEW ENVIRONMENT! NEW FRIENDS! NEW ADVENTURE!

The Walk-in Applicant

ngayon ko naintindihan

ang hirap ng buhay

ang lupit sa gitna ng nagtataasang building

ang bagsik ng naguungusang kompanya

kay hirap lalo't ika'y salat

ipinagdamot ang karangyaan

kapos sa kaalaman

at uhaw sa pagkakataon

ang init ay pilit iniibsan

ng pag-asang natatanaw

sa gayo'y hindi na lamang pawang

panghihinayang ang dadatnan

mailap man ang pagkakataon

ang pagsuko'y di naisip kaylanman

sapagka't sa tulong ng Maykapal

matapang na haharapin ang pagsubok kaylanman

(The spirit of Balagtas unveils in me whenever I am sad, frustrated etc. Hehehe!)

Don't let your struggles ruin your life, instead use it as an inspiration. Just like what I did, I've made this poem inspired by the hardships of job hunting. Hehehe! That should be the right attitude towards every trial that comes into our lives. But truthfully, there came a point where you wanted to give up right? ...a point where we almost forgot all the good things that happened in the past. And all of the things that's left in our minds and hearts are frustrations, hatred, self-pity and sometimes evil.

Like me, I graduated last March,2011... been looking for a job and still.... job less. I felt that I am such a failure that up to now I've been receiving rejections. Always been in a cycle of job hunting-exam-couple of interviews-tatawagan ka na lang procedure, it's tiring, very tiring!!!

Until, I've watched a story about this Lolo who walks all the way from Baclaran to Ortigas only to look for a job. Imagine, that's a long road!!! Weew! I kinda felt guilty whenever I think about him who is determined to get a job, doesn't care about the long road and not to mention the age. I'm 23 and he's... I think 75... now you do the math. Hehehe!

He maybe too old to do this, he should actually be in his retirement enjoying the benefits. But then here he is, eager to get a job and in spite of all the rejections, he still looks at it in a positive way. And here I am, surrounded with all the negativity! ...but not all the time... I know that something good is ahead of me. Just like what Katy Perry said, "maybe the reason why all the doors are closed so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road". It may not be my time for now but for sure when it comes, it's beyond my expectations.

That's it Lolo! You've inspired me! Thank you!

*In Loving Memory of Lolo*